Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
