If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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