But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
