so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
