so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
