Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
