fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
