I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Randomize
