Can i not drive my cunt home
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
