Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize