Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
