Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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