Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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