We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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