i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
