just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
