so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
