id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
