Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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