i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
