If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
