You don't have asthma, your pregnant
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
