Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I want is dick and wine.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
