If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
