Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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