what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
