i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
