so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
