i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
