Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
