she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
