Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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