There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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