piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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