he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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