Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
