I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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