the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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