so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
