just survived the first fart of the relationship.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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