He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
