Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
