Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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