wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
