I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
