oh god the rape fog is back!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
