IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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