Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
