onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
