I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
