I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize