She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
