i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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