Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
