porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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