who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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