Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
