I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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