We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
