Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
