You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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