And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
