My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
