im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well you can't waste a boner
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize