there was a trapeze. enough said
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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