would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
