Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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