I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wear drunk well.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
