can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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